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Hadouken! – Music For An Accelerated Culture
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On first listen, this debut album from the fluoro-dressed Leeds upstarts might well set you wondering whether you’re finally past-it – and whether to a pizza-faced 17-year-old, Hadouken! sound like the most amazing thing on the planet.
But fear not – this worry lasts approximately 10 seconds, when it becomes starkly apparent that “grindie”, the toe-curling term for the trademark Hadouken! sound of grime and indie crashing messily into each other, is not much more than load of old grollocks.
I’m not sure if ‘Get Smashed Gate Crash’ is supposed to portray accurately the exuberance and excitement of youthful rebellion, or whether someone’s just having us on. “Welcome to our world, we are the wasted youth…” bellows vocalist James Smith, before telling us that he went to a party and drank the alcohol cupboard dry, smashed some fancy porcelain china and had sex on someone’s parents’ bed. It’s hilarious, presumably unintentionally. If this is the sound of youthful rebellion, then I for one can’t wait to draw my pension.
The faux-anthemic ‘That Boy, That Girl’ is equally wince-inducing. Over cacophonic, squelching synths which sound something like a raging bull let loose in a Nintendo factory, James rants incredulously about such important and pressing topics as “Indie Sindies” – girls with Lego haircuts and polka-dot dresses, men from Hoxton in skinny jeans, and people who look a bit miserable when they’re out raving. I know, James. It fair winds me up too.
Remember Jesus Jones? Fancy hearing their old backing tracks speeded up with Ali G freestyling over the top? You do? Well, your prayers have just been answered.
Stewart Turner
